The First Kiss-A-Mouse (c) (A story by cats for cats) Translated by Alison Griffiths - 1995 *In that special place where cats gather together and be themselves, away from their human slaves.* It was the Festive season once again, and dear Aurora, although very frail now, invited some friends round to decorate the Tree. She asked them to bring as many mice as they could find to make ornaments, as she said "We shall make Santa Mousies, Angel Mousies and Little Drummer Mousies. We can hang some from their little noses and some from their tails. Won't our humans be surprised to see them hanging from the Tree tomorrow!" Soon the friends began to arrive. There was Aurora's elderly friend Cleo, Punkins and PuddiCat, Simba, Orson and Winston, and a whole lot of the younger ones who'd been invited by Cleo to learn how to make Kiss-A-Mouse decorations. Juanny turned up shaking the rain off his ragged ears with his paws full of mice. He walked stiffly but with dignity. He wasn't as old as the other DOCs (Distinguished Older Cats), but he had once lived a very rough life. He was always a favourite with the little ones with his stories and his poems brought tears to the eyes of the older cats. "I'd like to help you all," he said cheerfully as he plonked the heap of mice on the floor, "but I'm afraid I'm too clumsy for making ornaments. Maybe I could tell you all a story while you're working instead." "Oh yes Uncle Juanny!" mewed the kittens, and the older ones smiled and nodded. "I'll tell you the story of the very first Kiss-A-Mouse. It maybe different to some of the myths you've heard, but everyone has a story to tell and this ones mine." He looked around hopefully to see if Yarrow had arrived yet, sighed when he saw she hadn't and began his story. Chapter One (he said) Long long ago before anykitty can even imagine remembering, in a dark forest in a cruel coldcold winter, with icemonsters and snowmonsters, some little kitties were wandering about, lost and alone. The wicked humans had abandoned them (booo-hisspit!). The humans had got them (for some unknown human reason) and then not wanted them anymore. I am sorry, little ones, to have to mention such horrible things and I hope you're not too upset. That's the last time I will speak of the wicked and evil humans (boo-00 hissspiitt!). Anyway, these little kitties were wandering about by themselves, each one alone in the cold darklights, shivering and mewing pitifully. Soon there was a whole clowder* of them and they bundled up together to keep each other warm and they began PURRING. Well kitties, you know the power of PURRIN, especially ALL TOGETHER and especially LITTLE LITTLE kitty purrs. Well, before you knew it, something strange happened. There was a funny sort of light and there in the snow and incemonsters stood a beautiful ladykitty, with silken grey fur and bright yellowy golden eyes, and she sort of glowed! She was wearing a red cloak with white bunny fur around the edges and she carried a big wicker basket. "What you got in your basket?" blurted one of the bolder kitties. (His name was Jake and he was black with white paws.) The beautiful grey ladykitty didn't seem to mind his question and by way of replying she brought out of the basket a small pink toy mouse. "This is a magic mouse, little ones," she explained in silken tones with a faint purr behind each syllable, "and if you kiss his nose he will bring your wish into this basket. Only one wish each, and be careful what you wish for." And with these words the beautiful grey ladykitty faded into nothingness leaving the basket and mouse behind. "Well that's chapter one and I need a rest, kitties, so if you want some more you'd better bring me some Kissamouse cheer!" said Juanny with a grin. His own beloved Yarrow had crept in quietly during chapter one and was curled up at his side. He lovingly licked the top of her head and accepted the cup of Mild Nip Cider than Punkin proffered. "We want to hear more, we want to hear more of the wonderful story!" piped Orson and Winston together. "Yes, yes, I'll continue soon. In the next chapter you will discover the name of the beautiful grey ladykitty. First I need to take a short nap, this is such a lovely warm fire." and with that he curled around, his tail linked with Yarrows and snoozed noisily. After a short while Aurora came and batted him gently with her paw. "Please do continue, dear Juanny, but first help yourself to these tidbits. Four moths on a stick, and breast of mouse with nip sauce." She said. Aurora then continued busying herself with the guests as Juanny awoke from his catnap. "Where was I" he murmured with a twinkle in his eye, "and they all lived happily ever after." The little ones squeaked in disbelief and Juanny grinned at them and said, "No, haven't got to that bit yet have I." The kittens giggled and tumbled over one another to get the best seat. Chapter Two (Juanny continued) There were a fair few kitties out on that cold night. If you counted mine and Ky Aurora's claws you'd have about the number of them. There was the basket sitting in the snow, with the toy mouse peeking out but no sign of the mysterious ladykitty. "Who was that?" somekitty ventured softly. Jake, the bravest of the group, stepped forward and looked inside the basket. "There's a label sewed into the inside!" he shouted and the others crowded around as he read. "Ky A Claws', I wonder what the A stands for? Anyway, fellow kitties, I believe we have been visited by a saint. We don't know her first name, but I'm going to call her Saint A Claws! All the other kitties meowed excitedly in agreement and so it was. They all began to refer to her as Saint A Claws which very quickly got shortened to Santa Claws because it was easier to say, and that is what she is called to this day! Now about the wishes. Juanny paused to stretch and have an enormous yawn and Aurora chided the helpers, "Now kitties there is no need to stop making decoration, you can listen and work at the same time. What would you wish for if you had just one wish?" she asked them as she organised them back into the task of decorating the Tree. Juanny yawned again, stood up and turned around three times before getting himself comfortable on the mat again. He lay beside Yarrow who looked as if she was asleep but she wasn't. Chapter three (Juanny went on) "So here we have a basket and a .toy mouse.to er.kiss." Said Jake who's cheed fur had fluffed out in embarrassment. "Who would like to go first?" He was just about to remind them about being careful and to think before they wished, when an orange rolypoly kitten pushed forward and quickly kissed the toy mouse saying "I wish for a million trillion tins of cat food!" Jake, thinking quicker than lightening, grasped the horrific implication of the wish in a split second, and as the air filled with an ominous rumbling and grumbling and the sky seemed to lose all of its light, and several of the younger kitties began to cry, he cried out "I-wish-that-wish-wasn't-granted!". The air cleared and a sigh of relief whispered through their midst. Jake turned to Fluffy, (that was the orange kitty's name) and scolded him. "We could have been killed! What good are tins without tin openers anyway?" But as he saw the tear well up in Fluffy's eyes, Jake and the others forgave him. "That's two wishes used up, lets be more careful this time and just make little wishes that we'd all enjoy," said Jake, and they all agreed. The wishing continued in an orderly fashion, somekitty wished for a giant cooked bird with yummy juices running out of it = enough for all of them, and somekitty wished for sparkly toys that they could bat around. Somekitty wished for a little fir tree that they could hang the toys off and climb up. More food was wished for and there were scarves and blankets and warm milk, no end of goodies and treats. Oh what a happy clowder in that colfrosty forest! They ate and played and had a wonderful time enjoying each others company. Then there was just one kitty left to kiss the mouse and she sat there thinking. She was a wise little one, and a deep thinker. She also had a beautiful heart inside her that was full of love for all the other kitties. Her name was Yarry and she was small and stripey grey. (Juanny glanced slyly at Yarrow, who pretended not to notice.) She talked softly to herself. "This is all very well for tonight, but what of tomorrow and the next day and the day after that? What then of these little ones?" Her eyes lit up and she began to purr loudly and even laughed a little. She bounced up to the little pink toy mouse (who was quite soggy from all the kittenkisses), and kissed it smartly on the nose. "I wish that all these kittens here be in nicenice humanslaves homes, that won't 'bandon them and will love them and serve them good!" The glade began to glimmer and shake, and just before everything faded into the dark the kitties thought they caught a glimpse of a red cloak and Santa Claws smiling to herself. Each kitty found themselves in lovely warm humanhomes with yummy food and smells and kind humans. And also, wonder of wonders each humanlivingroom had a brightly decorated Tree in the corner with lovely sparkly kitty toys to play with. Even though they missed each other they had human company and as time went on and the household would get another kitty (Juanny winked at Yarrow), the story of Santa Claws an the Kiss-A-Mouse would get passed on. "So there you have it, kitties, the first Kiss-A-Mouse. Of course the humans got hold of the story and changed it into a MAN in a red SUIT, but we know better don't we?" Juanny continued sleepily, "And what happened to the basket and the toy mouse? Well, they are probably out there in that forest to this day." THE END Love to you all...Bast Bless this festive season Alison (Hoomin to only Ratfinx now) A Cat's Christmas Story By Barbara, Samantha and Tabitha The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest face for the opening scene of the play. "Now, all you have to do is, when I direct the choir to sing '...and the angel lit the candle', you come onstage and light all the candles." I can do it - I can do it!" the little boy said, excited to be the one picked.<>br> Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir was in grand voicew, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all around, awaiting the moment when the cute littlest angel made his entrance. The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an expectant "....and the angel lit the candle", and everyone looked stage right for the entrance. No little boy. The director gave the downbeat again, and gestured for a louder line, which the choir gave him - "...and the angel lit the candle", and again, all eyes looked stage right. No little boy. The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great, sweeping gestures, and the choir thundered into the line - the curtains belled slightly from the sound - "...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!" And into the silence which followed came a clear, boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right "...and the cat peed on the matches!"